The Blind Idiot

“But if Evolution were true, wouldn’t that imply Moral Nihilism?”

The guy saying this wasn’t stupid by any means; quite the opposite, actually.  He was one of those rare people who actually use religion to become a better person, not just as an excuse for moral complacency.  If he could’ve just learned to buy his own packs of cigarettes, I’d of been proud to call him a friend.

His understanding of Evolution thought…

As Eliezer Yudkowsky, Chief Cenobite of the Bayesian Conspiracy, once pointed out Evolution is a force best compared to the blind idiot-god Azathoth from the Cthulu Mythos; its creative powers are enormous, but its methods are so asinine and wasteful that it’s bound to result in disgust and incredulity from any lay audience.

Once you grasp how awful it can be, the statement at the beginning starts to make sense.

Take a hypothetical problem: too many people are dying in car accidents, and you want to build a safer car.

To a human (that’d be you, right?) the solution is obvious.  You’ll collect statistics to figure out the biggest problems, you’ll run simulations with crash test dummies, you’ll invent preventative measures like daytime running lights, and re-engineer the cages to reinforce the most vulnerable areas.  Research – Idea – Application.  It’s how we go about addressing any problem in life.

The blind idiot, however, will take a different approach.

First off he’ll add a mutation algorithm to the assembly line – each car that comes off the lot will be a slight variant.  Next he’ll wait for people to kill themselves, and whenever they do he’ll cull that variant from the herd – completely ignoring whether the accident was a freak occurrence or not.  It’s possible that some of the better-built variants will be lost here, but he doesn’t care about that.  At the end of the year he’ll collect the serial numbers of all the vehicles that survived and produce a new batch of Variant² vehicles based off of the survivors.

Rinse and Repeat for then next 1000 years, while we wait for the 4th Reich to fall.

At the end of it, perched atop a pile of bodies taller than Mount Improbable you have Azathoth’s Masterpiece: the Yugo-A-Go-Go.  It maxes out at 60 km/h, frequently blows out valves and idles to a halt, the passenger-side floorboards are known to rust out, and finding a replacement gas-cap for your model is nearly impossible – but safety wise (the only thing Azathoth cares about, remember?) it’s better than a Smart Car.  The only deaths associated with the Yugo are from six months ago, when a family of four got trapped inside when the electronic locks broke, and the engine spontaneously combusted.

You asked Azathoth for a safe car, but forgot to ask for anything else.  He built one, killing millions in the process.  That’s Evolution.  You’re welcome.

So it’s no wonder that people – particularly religious people – take offence to the concept of natural selection.  It’s ugly.  And in the end it does imply moral nihilism – but not on behalf of the Scientists.

From a certain perspective, Evolution is as beautifully elegant and simple as the Laws of Quantum Mechanics.  In the right circumstances it can create the peacock’s tail.  But it’ll also create the immunodeficiency virus.  And in both cases it’ll leave behind a trail of broken test-models, dying in agony.

If you were under the impression that the Universe cares about you- that Evil is just a perversion created by men- that there’s an Ultimate Plan and everything will work out okay in the end-

Then it’ll come as a bit of a shock when you realize that God is the Moral Nihilist at work here.

Folks, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again; all we’ve got is each other.  Take care of your brothers and sisters out there.