What’s wrong with this society?

I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it: a little known film called Dirty Harry.

For those of you lucky enough (or young enough) never to have heard of this cinematic abortion, let me sketch out the plot.

First off, credit where credit’s due: Dirty Harry’s a badass cop who follows his own rules, and doesn’t afraid of anything.

I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six shots or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

Well, do ya?

So anyway – this film was written back in the days of the Hays Code, which I’m sure you’ve never heard of before.  If you have, good on you for knowing your history! But I’m going to explaing it anyways.

The Hays Code harkens back to a simpler era – an era where men were men, women wore skirts, and cops were equal-opportunity bribable.  The Masters, back in the day, decided that us poor, simple viewing public might go plum stir crazy if we ever saw a villain we could empathize with – and so one of the Rules of Cinema decreed that no bad guy could have redeeming qualities.

And thus we get the 1970’s version of Hannibal Lecter: a smarmy, cocksure fuck who kills people just to prove that he can.  Half the motivation of Dexter, and a quarter the plausibility.

So anyway – now we get Dirty Harry (who is AWESOME) pursuing this weirdo.  A bunch of Action Scenes ensue, and he captures the incoherent fuck.  Only now we got a problem – Dirty Harry didn’t Follow The Rules, and the multiply-documented killer gets off scot free (and no, it makes no more sense in the film).

“What’s All This Then?” cried America, a group of Straight and Stand Up Guys, back in an era where such qualities were rewarded. “What, What?  He’s shimmying off the rules by the cut of his own jib, then?  Most Improper!”

Eventually Harry throws his badge at his police chief or something, and cap’s Mr Plot Hole’s ass, but the damage had already been done.  This movie was the turning point that enabled such perversions as NBC’s To Catch A Predator; the idea that thousands of crooks were somehow evading The Law; the idea that cops (who broke the rules) were nothing but Good Guys…

Welcome to the Modern Era.

In theory we still have Juriprudence; we’re still innocent until proven guilty… but in practice it’s a whole ‘nother can of worms.

The Criminal Trial might still be based upon such Quaint Notions, but the rest of the system’s as crooked as Clinton’s fly.  A raft of legislations – Restraining Orders, Hate Crimes, and Probationary slaps on the wrist have been implemented.  The point of the Modern Legal System isn’t to convict you, it’s to ensnare you.  Get your name onto the books, so that they have a record; so that you’re always That Asshole Who Did X, for perpetuity, at every traffic stop.  We’ve given up our love of Truth in exchange for a love of Efficiency, but achieved Neither.

Wait, didn’t somebody else say something about that?

We’re all of us potential Criminal; everyone of us has broken some law in the past (whether what we did ought to be illegal is another matter), and the only difference between Investment Banker and Usual Suspect is luck and bribery.  Even the laws meant to protect Women, Jews, and Newspaper Reporters have been turned on their head – just ask Ezra Levant (and, I assume, his wife).

“Too many scum bags are going unpunished!” say the wags.

Well that might well be true.  But I remember the question being, “How many innocent men dare we risk being convicted?” Nowaday’s it’s the other way around.

At this point I could write something about false positive rates, and proper use of diagnostic tests – but the courts have just recently allowed me to imbibe Whiskey again, and that bottle is calling to me.

Every murderer we kill comes at the cost of only nine innocents.  The Dirty Harries of the world say that’s cheap.  Funnily enough, so do I.