The Tribulations of a Journalist

A couple of articles popped up on my Digg feed today.  I can barely contain the Rage I am currently feeling.

Julian Assange, a Heroic Truth Speaker from another era (Lord Knows this generation doesn’t deserve him), went to jail today, accused of a crime he didn’t commit.  He recently had his assets frozen and has been denied bail.  The British Judge involved had the gall to say that his arrest had nothing to do with Wikileaks.

Christ in a Cup, this is how the Masters rule – chumps like this Judge who are just Following Orders.  They convince us to Follow the Rules, to Do Our Job, and to never question the manifest features of the Fearsome Engine we’re working for.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a government employee excuse their monstrous behaviour with the line “I’m just doing my job.” Funny how, back when I was in the Forces, my fellow soldiers and I were repeatedly told that the Nuremberg Defence weren’t no defence… but then again, the only people punished for the Abu Graib fiasco were non-comms – and by fiasco I, of course, mean torture.

Honesty is a thing Troops, not Officers.  We’re paid to be the fall-guys.

I’m so disgusted right now, I could take a thin black shit. Instead, why don’t I fill you in on this background?  I’ve been following this story for a while.

First off, our main player: if you don’t know who Julian Assange is, then you really need to question your priorities in life. He’s the Man who started Wikileaks, a site dedicated to publishing classified documents leaked by insiders who don’t like what their governments are doing. He’s reputed to have balls the size of cantaloupes, and he puts his pants two legs at a time. The pro-establishment types tend not to like what he’s doing. My buddy David Z. offers a nice little argument about why they should like him anyways. But even if that doesn’t convince you, remember this: we live in an era where journalism has devolved to the point where it is little more than government propaganda. Whether it’s CNN or Fox News, CBC or CTV, if it’s a choice between voicing the facts, and toeing the line, they’re always going to toe the line. Assange is some rare breed of Mutant, with personal convictions and a commitment to The Truth – let the chips fall where they may! That sort of Character is rare; it deserves your support.

And if that’s not enough – well, why don’t I tell you exactly what he’s been arrested for?

It all started last August, when Anna Ardin and Sofia Wilén, the accusers, leaked the news that Sweden – a covert member of NATO – was looking to arrest Assange, for ‘rape’.

“Rape? That used to be a pretty serious crime,” you say, “What did this toad-fucker do?”

Much like his anachronistic commitment to Truth, Assange has an antiquated approach to masculinity; this is to say, rather than acting like a simpering nancy boy, he’s an unapologetic Alpha whom women lust after.

In Sweden it was two particular women who lusted after him. Both of whom bragged and tweeted about his conquest afterwards. Everything was going just fine in the week following the liasons (he even convinced one of them to buy him breakfast, and pay for his train tickets), but then the inevitable happened: they found out about each other.

So the two of them got together and compared notes. It turned out that Assange had talked both of them into ditching the condom. Outraged by his lack of post-coital attention, they went to the police to complain. Turns out what he did qualifies as rape in Sweden – or more accurately as ‘surprise sex’, according to some sources – and it’s punishable by up to two years in jail.

Assange soldiered on, refusing to discuss this nonsense when there were more important things in the world, while Sweden asked Obama what he wanted them to do.

The plot thickens however. When all of this started, it seemed to be nothing more than another example misandrist laws on a continent that rapidly falling to radical Islam. The only difference between Julian and the rest of us swinging dicks is that he’s doing something with his life. Since then – especially after Wikileaks published 30 years of US embassy correspondences – things have started heating up.

It started with the Swedes finally pulling their thumbs out of their collective asses, and issuing an EU arrest warrant for Assange (one count of rape, two counts of sexual molestation and one count of unlawful coercion – and yet she bought him breakfast). He was hiding out in Britain at the time, and there was some question as to the legality of this extradition order.

Since that wasn’t working, his Swiss bank froze his account, as did PayPal (remember when Switzerland used to be free?) – depriving him of the funds needed for defence (thankfully there are still good people in the world who also happen to be rich – he should be fine, as far as financing goes).

Then this morning he turned himself in, and was denied bail, despite the laughable falseness of these charges, not to mention the fact that in no sane country would ‘willing sex without a condom’ be considered a crime; he’s going to be stuck rotting in British Prison for the next week.

And while all this was going down, guess what? One of the dishonest tarts, Anna Ardin, who falsely accused him has been linked to the CIA.

If this is coming as any sort of surprise, it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee.  Conspiracies happen: 9/11 was a conspiracy of 12 losers from Saudi Arabia. Assange’s trumped up charges are a conspiracy by our Lords and Masters.

Here’s the good news: first, as Firefly taught us, You Can’t Stop the Signal. Wikileaks has been open-sourced for mirroring, and last I heard there were 300 of them – they’ve been suffering anonymous DOS attacks, and are being blocked from various servers, but ultimately the government can’t do anything once the truth is out there.  It ain’t 1950 no more.

Second, Assange has some sort of data bomb involving True Ugliness perpetrated by our governments, which he’s holding in reserve.  I’d love to see those heads roll.

Third – Assange knows he’s an Innocent Man. I can imagine him now, head held high, prison jumpsuit trying to melt away from the greatness of his figure, meeting the other prisoner’s eyes with a steely, but not unfriendly gaze. His fellow inmates will recognize that a Man of Stature is in their midst – nothing like the lowly contemptible zoo keepers who guard them, or the occasional White Collar Square who shares their quarters – they’ll recognize a Man who’s on the side of Good, and I have no worries for his safety.

And finally, five years from now, his two accusers will be remembered for the monsters that they are.  Good luck finding a future in anything but Rattery, ladies.

This Too Shall Pass. I’m disgusted by the Injustice, by the Conspiracy, by the Cynical Nature of our ‘democratically elected’ leaders. But it’s shit like this that shows that their time is past. A wide-awake citizenry can’t be lied to in the Internet era, and Assange’s got enough friends and supporters that his mission will continue.

Vale, Assange, Vale! All of us Honest Citizens are rooting for you.

Time for a Change indeed.