So they tell me Osama’s been killed…

Good lord, this month has started off on a sour note.  First, another bullshit election here in Canada (nobody worth voting for, as usual), and then to top off my piss-poor mood the entire Internet decided to collectively suck Obama’s dick.

In disgust I spent yesterday on the balcony with a BB gun, sniping the Canada Goose who decided to nest on the office building across from me.  It eventually figured out what I was doing, though, and now the balcony’s off limits; the damned goose is perched on the railing, making some sort of awful moaning noise, and pecking at the glass.

Guess I might as well write about this Osama thing.  I’ve predicted half of the details that’ve come out already – let’s see how I do with the rest.

My initial thoughts upon hearing about Osama were Bullshit – this isn’t how history works.  Not that I doubt the short-version of events – Beardo was killed last weekend, and it was Americans who did it – but the narrative of Big Bad is Defeated belongs more to the realm of low-quality fantasy writing than actual world history.

Saddam’s found hiding in a dirt hole, after his country’s infrastructure is shattered by Shock and Awe?  Yeah, that’s the real world.  Reminds me of Hitler suiciding during the bombing of Berlin, or Hirohito surrendering under MacArthur’s demand.  They’re trying to pass off Osama’s execution as something similar.  It isn’t.

First off, has he even done anything in the past five years?  Not that I can recall.  I honestly thought he was dead already, dead in a cave, his body eaten by wild dogs.  But more importantly I didn’t care.  Osama’s just not that relevant.  Even back in the day, he was nothing but a loud-mouthed jackass who served as a rallying point for Islamic idiots.  Al Qaeda owes its existence more to the post 9/11 media, than it does to Osama.  He was no Evil Tyrant.  He wasn’t even a Timothy McVeigh.  He was a moron with a video camera, and some rich backers.

Conclusion: his death, in and of itself, is utterly irrelevant with regards to the War on Terror.

Second: how the hell did President Obama (a craven) succeed where Bush (a thug) failed?  And following that, how could it take a decade to locate one man?

Time to check our premises – who says that either of them actually cared about Beardo?

There were early reports in Afghanistan suggesting that Bush failed to pursue rumours of Osama, in favour of securing the country as a whole; the war was a Neo-Con neo-colonialization, not an act of revenge.  As for the current POTUS, he seems more interested in encouraging revolutions in American ‘allies’ (read: neo-protectorates).  Bush wanted hegemony, Barrack wants to destroy the hegemony.

Where was Osama all this time?  Happily taking up column-space in Al Jazeera and CNN.  He was on neither president’s radar.

Thus it came as no surprise to me when I read this: (Hat tip to Half-Sigma):

What Valerie Jarrett, and the president, did not know is that Leon Panetta had already initiated a program that reported to him –and only him, involving a covert on the ground attack against the compound.

…

I was correct in stating there had been a push to invade the compound for several weeks if not months, primarily led by Leon Panetta, Hillary Clinton, Robert Gates, David Petraeus, and Jim Clapper. The primary opposition to this plan originated from Valerie Jarrett, and it was her opposition that was enough to create uncertainty within President Obama.

Leon Panetta, and the men under his command, are patriots and heroes – they actually cared about Justice.  As for Clinton, and the other politicos, I’m reserving judgement – for them it might have just been an opportunity.  Panetta risked his career for a chance to do the right thing – he acted with boldness and daring, against the will of his Commander in Chief, knowing that if he pulled it off Obama wouldn’t be able to deny his victory.  I didn’t know we still had Men like that in the world.

Reading that article certainly puts this image into perspective, doesn’t it?

Third, there’s the issue of the burial at sea.  This part smacks of Obama’s fingerprints, and it’s the only part where things start to get interesting.

First of all, there’s the issue of ‘Muslims need to be buried 24 hours after death’.  Wonderful, yet another ad-hoc rule that Islam has made up on the spot, as textually groundless as the ‘Don’t draw Mohammad’ rule, and any number of other ridiculous ‘offenses’ that Imams use to push around Western Nations.  It didn’t seem to apply with Saddam, but in Osama’s case it’s absolutely vital that we bury him ASAP.

They did it out of ‘respect’ (and because no country would accept his body for interment).  Say, why are they showing so much respect for this monster, anyways?  If you ask me, they should have wrapped him in bacon and fired him into the sun.  Mainstream Islam has already declared him a ‘false Muslim’ haven’t they?  Then they won’t be offended when we desecrate his corpse.

Except, of course, he isn’t a ‘false Muslim’ by most of the Islamic world’s definition.  Currently he’s being declared a martyr in Pakistan (the ‘ally’ that most certainly knew about his location for years without telling us).  The way we treated his corpse was an opportunity – an opportunity we blew because of political correctness.  Kowtowing to these savages only encourages them (don’t get me wrong – I’ll defend anyone’s Freedom of Conscience to the ends of the Earth – just don’t ask me to respect their some Primitive’s beliefs).

Also… I detect an aura of intrigue, as well.  It feels as if the rapid-body-disposal was far more Secret Squirrel than it had to be.

Here’s my prediction for the next few weeks: they’re going to spin this the same way they spun the Birth Certificate.  Obama’s people are going to release just enough information to arouse suspicion in right wing circles, claiming it’s all that they have, and as soon as someone notable starts advocating a conspiracy theory they’ll release the proof – making an ass out of the conspirator, and securing Obama’s electoral victory next year.

You know, I’d been doubting recently, my prediction that he’d win a second term.  It’s good – and depressing – to see that I was right, again, as usual.

In closing, I’d like to salute those soldiers who went against their Presidents whims, illegally invaded another country, and shot-and-killed a filthy pig who desperately had it coming.  You are all true American Heroes, very much unlike the machiavellian dirtbags you work for.

Salut.