Women Can Age Beautifully (Solomon II’s Lost Blog)

Lovingly archived by the men at Return of Kings:

Women can age beautifully, you know.

Uh oh. That sermon we expected earlier was about to be delivered.

Let me tell you boys something. I don’t take back anything I said about you guys running around with these little girls, since that’s evidently all that’s available these days. But there’s no reason for you to disrespect my wife.

Sorry, we didn’t mean to be disrespectful to…

Shut up. Both of you.

Yes sir.

Listen to me. A good woman ages beautifully. When I look at my wife, I see the most gorgeous woman in the universe. Her wrinkled hands got that way by keeping up with my two boys and working hard for them while I was on the road. The lines under her eyes are from years of shedding tears for me when I was at war, and those wrinkles on her brow are from decades of worry for me and my two sons. It was her legs they held on to when they were learning to walk, her lap was where they learned to read, and her breasts were their first nourishment. The first kiss those boys ever receive d was from her lips, and God willing, my last kiss will be from her lips.

You two don’t know what you’re missing – or maybe you do. But all I know is that she’s as beautiful, desirable, and lovely today as the day I met her, and I wouldn’t trade one second with her for a lifetime of rowdiness with one of those harlots you guys have waiting for you back home.

You two don’t know what beauty is. In a way, I feel sorry for both of you. I’m not getting on your case, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from my own sons, it’s that women aren’t what they used to be.

The whole thing is just goddamn pathetic if you ask me.

The whole blog was a gold mine, but this article in particular was one of my favourites.