How To Transition From Casual Pickup To Marriage

In this article, I’d like to discuss the strategic differences between pursuing a woman for sex versus pursuing her for marriage. In particular, I want to talk about how excelling at the former can lead young men (and women) into a trap of being a perpetual “fuckboy” (or carousel rider). When you start playing the game for the sake of the game—and forget why you started playing it in the first place—endless casual relationships are the result.

If we’re going to hold on to Western civilization—if we’re ever going to see a return of kings—it is up to us to rise above the current state of affairs and become patriarchs who raise the next generation properly, in healthy marriages. But to understand where game went wrong, we need to understand where it went right.

David Givens, an anthropologist, and Timothy Perper, a biologist, have spent hundreds of hours studying couples in bars, confirming what RoK men already know in their bones: that the most successful pickups happen when the woman initiates. To the casual observer, this seems counter-intuitive. After all, it’s the men who approach the women; active masculinity working on passive femininity.

But what Givens and Perper noted was that even though men played the active role, the most successful approaches came only after the women had pre-selected them with flirtatious eye-contact. In other words, seduction—from the Latin se + ducere, “to lead astray”—is anything but.

All the more intelligent women that I know, indeed, are unanimously of the opinion that no girl in her right sense has ever been actually seduced since the world began. — H.L. Mencken, In Defense of Women

The man who excels at game isn’t tricking women into sleeping with him: he’s finding the women who want causal sex and presenting himself as a man who’s offering it good and hard.

Continue reading at Return of Kings.