On Trans Guys and Alpha Males

So there was this Trans Guy I was chatting with not too long ago. Told him I was going to hang out with my buddies, and he asked, “So, like – do you and your buddies suck each other off?”

No, not exactly, I said. Mostly we just get drunk and complain about our jobs.

Speaking of my job, there’s this guy I work with. Real Alpha Male type. Muscular, tattoos, likes to show you pictures of his infant son next to his lifted pickup truck. One day he asked me, “So what do you like to go by? Leo? Or Mechanical Dildo?”

I shrugged. “I prefer Leo, but I’ll respond to either.”

The next day we were killing time, and I’d been thinking about things, so I asked him, “You’re the sort of guy who does one shot of dark rum at a party, and then starts punching the air, thinking, ‘They don’t know I got arms,’ aren’t ‘cha?”

He shrugged his shoulders, “Yeah,” then he started looking around until he spotted a one inch ledge, that was just long enough to hold onto with the first joint-and-a-half of ones fingers. He lifted himself up and did ten pull-ups.

“Bet you can’t do any.”

I did five.

“Your arms were shaking.”

The struggle is real, fellas. The struggle is real.